Have you ever had one of those "a-ha" moments when you read something that strikes you in such a way that it completely changes your outlook on things? One of those moments when you realize that you've been doing it all wrong.....and you hope that you haven't damaged your children irreversibly in the process! (please say I'm not the only one....)
A friend of mine linked to an article on facebook from Meridian Magazine called "Godly Parenting: Compassion for Humanness" by Wallace Goddard. The title intrigued me enough to click over and check out the link, and I was so glad I did. I quickly skimmed through before leaving to pick up a child from school yesterday and I have re-read it three times since then (with a lot of time spent pondering in between).
It is really SO GOOD!
Apparently it is part of a series of articles on Godly Parenting and Compassion, but I feel like I need to absorb and incorporate this one before I start on something new! Otherwise I will get overwhelmed and not make the changes I need to make.
I am in the midst of the battle right now. Parenting teenagers is quite possibly THE HARDEST THING I have ever done! In my zeal to set boundaries and be the tough guy, I am afraid that I have forgotten compassion.
Unfortunately, it is easy to do.
I feel like I am a much more relaxed parent of 7 yr. old Savannah than I was when Shelby was seven. After trial and error, I know there are so many things that just do not matter. This morning Savannah spilled a cup of orange juice all over the counter and down onto the floor. When Shelby was little, I am afraid I would have yelled at her for making a mess. With Savannah, I said "uh-oh, sometimes that happens. Be more careful next time." and then handed her a towel and helped her clean it up.
So what does this say about me as I parent Shelby through the teenage years?
I am sure there will be oh so many things that I will wish I could change by the time I look back on this era through the eyes of a seasoned mother. I wonder if she has spent her whole life under my much too harsh judgement feeling like she can never measure up to my impossible standards and thus, not even trying.
If anyone needed compassion for humanness, it was Shelby.
When I think about the legacy I want to leave her with as she prepares to head off to college, it is simply this...
She is loved.
I can only hope that in my well-meaning, yet blundering efforts, that message has been able to get through.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Age Group Championships
Samuel had the incredible opportunity to participate in State Championships for swimming on Saturday. It is a chance to swim against the best swimmers in the state and with this being his first year competing in USA swim meets, it was an honor for him to even qualify to go. It was a little frustrating that he only qualified in one event, especially considering he was 2/10th's of a second away from qualifying in two other events.....oh well, sometimes that's what happens!
Since his event wasn't until afternoon, Chris drove him up Saturday morning, watched him compete, and then drove home. I wish I could have gone, but someone had to stay home and shuttle the other 4 kids to and from work, lacrosse practice, friend's houses, scout fundraisers, and the grocery store! It was not a stellar meet for Samuel; he swam the 200 IM and came in 45th out of 49 swimmers and did not get his best time, but it was a great opportunity to see what swimming is like at the elite levels. We are proud of Samuel and his efforts on swim team!
On an interesting side note.....swimming has worked wonders for Samuel's asthma this year. Last year he swam at a pool that was not well ventilated, so I didn't see the benefits, but this year is a different story. I have not had him in the doctor's office once this winter. He hasn't even had to use his inhaler or preventative meds at all. Typically I spend at least a thousand dollars on office visits and meds over the course of the winter trying to keep his asthma under control. Our doctor told me that the swimming is strengthening his lungs and helping him to stay healthy. That is worth its weight in gold to me!
Since his event wasn't until afternoon, Chris drove him up Saturday morning, watched him compete, and then drove home. I wish I could have gone, but someone had to stay home and shuttle the other 4 kids to and from work, lacrosse practice, friend's houses, scout fundraisers, and the grocery store! It was not a stellar meet for Samuel; he swam the 200 IM and came in 45th out of 49 swimmers and did not get his best time, but it was a great opportunity to see what swimming is like at the elite levels. We are proud of Samuel and his efforts on swim team!
On an interesting side note.....swimming has worked wonders for Samuel's asthma this year. Last year he swam at a pool that was not well ventilated, so I didn't see the benefits, but this year is a different story. I have not had him in the doctor's office once this winter. He hasn't even had to use his inhaler or preventative meds at all. Typically I spend at least a thousand dollars on office visits and meds over the course of the winter trying to keep his asthma under control. Our doctor told me that the swimming is strengthening his lungs and helping him to stay healthy. That is worth its weight in gold to me!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Catching up....Again!
I know it seems like all we've been doing around here is breaking bones, but believe me, a lot of noteworthy things have been happening that I haven't taken the time to blog yet! For instance, Samuel participated in our family's final Pinewood Derby. (Chris is so thrilled to be done with this rite of passage!) We attempted to "swirl paint" his car and followed the demo's for swirl painting guitars online and it turned out pretty cool. We didn't quite get the look he was aiming for, but it was cool nonetheless.
Caleb participated in All-District Band. This was his first year trying out on the clarinet, so he was excited to make it. In the past he has gone on the bass clarinet and there is a lot less competition.
Grandma and Grandpa came to visit and helped celebrate Caleb's 16th birthday. Unfortunately, this was right after he broke both arms, so it wasn't quite the celebration he had in mind. And he found that turning 16 for a boy is somewhat anti-climatic when all our your friends who are girls who you might consider asking out on a date don't turn 16 till summer! Oh well, there is still time....
We took Grandma and Grandpa on a walk down by the river on President's Day. It was fairly nice weather, so it was fun to get outside after all the cold. Of course I was holding my breath because Caleb was all over those rocks and I was afraid that he would end up falling in the river and ruining his casts!
Chris and I went with Savannah to her "Eight is Great" fireside where she learned all about being baptized. She was so excited to go to the fireside because she has always wanted to go to a fireside, but then found it to be not quite as exciting as she had anticipated because there was no fire and we didn't roast marshmallows. No wonder she has been jealous of her older siblings all these years!
Samuel attended two levels of district championships for swimming. He ended up bringing home a gold medal and a 7th place medal (I don't know what color that is). Sadly, it was not a good measure of what an incredible swimmer he has become because he got sick two weeks before district champs, missed a full week of practice, and lost 7 lbs. and he really wasn't back up to par by champs. He was on the verge of qualifying for State Junior Olympics in 5 events but only ended up qualifying in 1, the 200 IM. He goes next weekend to compete in that, so stay tuned for results!
Caleb participated in All-District Band. This was his first year trying out on the clarinet, so he was excited to make it. In the past he has gone on the bass clarinet and there is a lot less competition.
Grandma and Grandpa came to visit and helped celebrate Caleb's 16th birthday. Unfortunately, this was right after he broke both arms, so it wasn't quite the celebration he had in mind. And he found that turning 16 for a boy is somewhat anti-climatic when all our your friends who are girls who you might consider asking out on a date don't turn 16 till summer! Oh well, there is still time....
We took Grandma and Grandpa on a walk down by the river on President's Day. It was fairly nice weather, so it was fun to get outside after all the cold. Of course I was holding my breath because Caleb was all over those rocks and I was afraid that he would end up falling in the river and ruining his casts!
Chris and I went with Savannah to her "Eight is Great" fireside where she learned all about being baptized. She was so excited to go to the fireside because she has always wanted to go to a fireside, but then found it to be not quite as exciting as she had anticipated because there was no fire and we didn't roast marshmallows. No wonder she has been jealous of her older siblings all these years! 
Samuel attended two levels of district championships for swimming. He ended up bringing home a gold medal and a 7th place medal (I don't know what color that is). Sadly, it was not a good measure of what an incredible swimmer he has become because he got sick two weeks before district champs, missed a full week of practice, and lost 7 lbs. and he really wasn't back up to par by champs. He was on the verge of qualifying for State Junior Olympics in 5 events but only ended up qualifying in 1, the 200 IM. He goes next weekend to compete in that, so stay tuned for results!Tuesday, March 1, 2011
And then there were two.....
We are cautiously wrapping our last boy (Samuel) in bubble wrap since he has State Swim Championships in a few weeks and a cast would not be a good thing!
Joshua apparently broke his thumb last Thursday playing basketball. He favored it a bit and we just thought it was jammed. He practiced lacrosse for 2 hours on Saturday, playing goalie with no complaints. But once it was all done, he was miserable. I went out a bought a little splint thinking if we just rested it, it would get better, but no luck. By today it was still causing him so much pain that we decided to get it looked at.
The orthopedist did a double take when he walked by the room and saw me there. He said "weren't you just here?!!" Then he saw Josh and said "oh, it's a different kid!" Fortunately for Joshua, the doctor is a former lacrosse player, so he gave Josh permission to keep playing and practicing!
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