Where to Draw the Line?

I have often wondered why I continue to struggle with this....where do I draw the line when it comes to activities and my family? It seems like every few months I re-visit this subject and after much pondering, I walk away feeling trapped in my lifestyle and finding myself changing too little and feeling generally dissatisfied with the pace of my life. Last Saturday during General Conference, I heard this talk and was once again inspired to change. There is something to be said for the fact that I have been repeatedly inspired to change and I continue to feel dissatisfied....obviously, I haven't changed enough yet.

You see, as a family we are very involved. We are stretched incredibly thin in regards to time and often energy to do everything that we need to do. When my children were little I agreed with the idea of one activity per child. It went well when 1 and then 2 children were playing soccer. I only had 3 kids and one was being toted along in an infant carrier and things were manageable. Then piano lessons came up and they seemed a worthy pursuit and I knew my children would never give up their beloved soccer and accept music lessons in its place.....so I approved all music lessons and one additional activity. Then the kids aged up to church youth activities when they turned eight and I found myself approving 3 activities per child. Pretty soon I had 3 kids in soccer, 2 in piano lessons, 1 in Activity Days, and 1 in cub scouts, all done with an incredibly rowdy toddler and a newborn baby in tow while my husband worked full time and went to school at night to get his MBA. Add to that serving as Primary President in my ward and attempting to volunteer one day a week at my children's school.

It was too much.

I reached my breaking point! We were moving and I banned sports for the first year we lived in our new home. Piano lessons continued, church youth activities continued, even school activities continued and our willingness to serve in the church continued. Things were better. Saturdays were less rushed and we were able to get work done as a family and added in some great family activities too.

Yet somehow, I am back again....and this time the pace is relentless. I am driving children to and from express bus stops for five different schools, there are 3 in music lessons, 1 in swimming 4 days a week, 1 in cheerleading, 1 with a daily work schedule. There are 2 in scouts, one in cub scouts, 1 in Young Womens and 1 wishing she were old enough! I am serving as Relief Society President and my husband as Scoutmaster along with being a stake representative to the district for scouting. I am working one morning a week for a local caterer. I serve my neighborhood by being on the Pool Board and our school district by being on the Gifted Education Advisory Committee. I volunteer one morning a week in Savannah's first grade classroom. Our time is always in demand. Free weekends never happen.....it is typically an incredible balancing act just to get everyone where they need to be on any given day; so much so that many times, the pieces all come tumbling down.

And that is when I feel disenchanted.

You see, I know these are all good things. I don't attempt to fill my life with bad things. However, they are displacing much better things. Family dinner time rarely includes all of us, family home evening has become condensed into a 30 minute time frame when everyone is cranky and ornery before bed, scripture study is something my children endure....not cherish. Not enough of my time is spent teaching my children life skills like cleaning, cooking, ironing, and sewing. Not enough of my time is spent in nurturing my children's love of God, nor in helping them to feel the guidance of the Holy Ghost. I often go to bed thinking of things I should have said or should have done differently with our children. Our life is lived in crisis mode and we are reacting to it.

So how do I find the elusive peace I am looking for? Where do I draw the lines in the sand and say "We will NOT do this anymore"? I am taking this as my challenge this month. I will pray to know what needs to go and what we can keep. I know it will be a process....one that is ever changing, but I am vowing to be more open to the quiet voice of the Spirit and let it influence my life.

Because we cannot keep this up.