Shelby has been taking piano lessons for 8 years now. When we started her in piano, she really wanted to do it, but within a year she HATED piano! Knowing that it was hard work and required dedication on her part, I have used some very creative bargaining techniques over the years to keep her dedicated. I even resorted to bribery, using horseback riding lessons as a reward for continuing to take piano lessons! Along the way, Shelby has become a good pianist! She realizes now that she is glad she stuck with it this long.
So now she is in 10th grade and wants to quit again. Truth be told, I never thought she would continue this long. She says that her life is too busy to be tied up in piano lessons. She can already play several hymns and she thinks she can self teach herself the rest as she wants to learn them. I had just hoped that she would take lessons to the point that she would be able to pick up the hymnbook and play whatever was asked of her. Part of the reason she has progressed slower than most is that she hasn't LOVED piano. Practicing has been a chore that she puts up with. Shelby doesn't really like her teacher either, although she is very nice.
While I don't want to encourage my children to be quitters, and while I know that this skill is worth the work she will put into it, I have to wonder if it is time to let Shelby make this decision without me making it for her. As anyone with teenagers knows, they consider themselves to be knowledgable beyond their years.....so even though I know Shelby will regret quitting later on, she is sure that I am wrong about that! I can't help but think that it is time for me to give up the reins a little, let Shelby assert her independence and make the decision to quit, then stand by as she learns from her choices. Isn't that what parenting is all about anyway?
3 comments:
That is a tough one from my perspective. My mom finally let me quit because practicing was so unbearable for the both of us, (although it was only after 3 years), but I HAVE ABSOLUTLY REGRETTED IT! I can play a good portion of the hymns and primary songs, but not like I'd like and I don't know if I could ever learn the harder ones, or atleast now don't have time to teach myself. So, with Sasha turning 7 now, I am wanting her to start piano and know what dedication it will take on both our parts and I won't want to give up until she is proficient enought to play all the church music, but also don't know if we'll ever get there! I already quit with Kaleb! After 8 years, she probably has an argument. Congratulations for getting that far! What an accomplishment! All I can say is that I really wish I could have reached the level of playing all the church music comfortably, it would be soooo satisfying! But that is me. Good luck and let me know what you decided!
There are more important things to fight about. While I strongly agree that piano lessons are important, I also agree that in high school there are so many other things that are valuable experiences. I'm sure she will regret quitting, but that might be one lesson she'll have to learn the hard way. At this age, continuing to force lessons might well be just a waste of your money and effort. How much time will she really give to practicing? Let her make her own choice and live with the natural consequences.
You're such a good mama Janine. I think Shelby's at an age right now where that's a good decision for her to make. I'm sure she'll pick it up again in college..., maybe (that's what I did). And if not, she'll figure things out..., whether it's piano or something else. 8 yrs. is a long time!
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